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After The Ass-rag, Then...
#46
"As a stern Republican and an expert pistolero he wacks them as they arc towards his fire. Quite a sight."



Ah yes...one of my favorites!



One time Bill took clicked the trick up a notch by having me select a certain color nut fragment in the tangled little turd-carrot I winched from my ass-garden earlier in the week.



Sure enough, looking a bit like Ol' Popeye (Poopeye?) himself, Bill took careful aim at the tiny falling brown flare and shot that that nut clean out!



I've shared a few fires with Bill. Perhaps when the children are in bed he can re-tell the story about the lady with no teeth. I think of the story everytime someone mentions the word 'insane'...



Eric
woodsdrummer.com



"In the school of the woods there is no graduation day" Horace Kephart
#47
What a pleasure to see one of your posts. And boy, do I owe you a PM--I'll try to get it off this week.



--ML
#48
I love this group. <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lol:' /> I have never spewed so much coffee or beer onto the desk as i have reading these threads. Thank You. <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cool.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='B)' /> Not only do i choke on my beer sometimes when i'm laughing so hard, sometimes i'm in the middle of the woods , taking a crap and i'll starting howling with laughter as i think about these threads. I think i'm scaring the local hikers, what with the tales of the unseen man laughing in the woods.......



<img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Big Grin' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lol:' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Tongue' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Tongue' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Big Grin' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lol:' /> <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Tongue' />
# EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

# NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON A THREAT

# AGGRESSIVELY SEEK ANY KNOWLEDGE WHICH WILL ASSURE MISSION ACCOMPLISHMENT AND MAKE YOU A SURVIVOR AND A WINNER

# USE A SIMPLE TEMPLATE WHEN DECIDING THE VALUE OF SOMETHING EVERYTHING EITHER HAS TACTICAL VALUE OR IT DOES NOT

# ACTIVELY SEEK NEW TTP's AND EQUIPMENT THAT COULD MAKE YOUR UNIT MORE CAPABLE IN COMBAT

# EVERY DAY, ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR MY UNIT?"

# DON'T CONFUSE ENTHUSIASM WITH CAPABILITY
#49
The unseen man can be identified by his scat.....usually found slightly off of marked trails...... <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' />



Dave
Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps!


#50
WARNING: This could be too much information!



This thread has brought me great joy and laughter ::Confusedpewing coffee::: and since we're all sharing such private thoughts, I'll share mine.



I'd like to assure you all that your shitting skills will return to their normal state of ease once TSHTF, you've eaten all the spam and canned chili, and you're off a processed diet completely. <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':unsure:' />



Because of my chemical sensitivities, I've had to make major diet changes in the past few years, many of which would be comparable to a diet you'd be eating when TSHTF. In other words, NO chemical preservatives, no packaged, processed foods and a lot of fiber.



The happy result?

No constipation, no straining, no impacted, dehydrated, butt-sticking poop.

Instead a nice bulky easily spent movement, leaving hardly a trace to worry my ass rag. <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':thumbsup:' />



Add to that the FACT that you'll be squatting to do your business, which means your ass cheeks will be spread like they should be instead of flapping in the way of your escaping poop... and your sphincter will be poised and ready, it the position it was made to do its duty, pinching that log off with a snap! <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />



I bet that ass rag will last longer than you think! <img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lol:' />



Dig a hole downwind from camp.

Make it deep but narrow enough to squat over.

Keep a bucket of ashes next to it.

Do your DOODY

Sprinkle with ash

Leave the pit open

It will compost and disappear in no time!



PS: Do not pee in your poophole. Instead, pee at the base of trees and plants, going to a different one each day. The trees love it and will thrive.



<img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':thumbsup:' />
#51
Everyone seems to think that the anal orifice actually "pinches off a loaf". In reality, the grogan has a tapered end so that your sphincter does not slam shut!



I can't even imagine how we could have gone through life with such trauma every day.



Bill

#52
[quote name='Bill Hay' post='190286' date='Dec 23 2007, 04:15 PM']your sphincter does not slam shut!



I can't even imagine how we could have gone through life with such trauma every day.



Bill[/quote]



I don't know about that Bill.... with all these presidential candidates talking, my sphincter is slamming all day!
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

How young can you die of old age?

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

-Steven Wright
#53
<img src='http://www.hoodswoods.net/IVB/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':lol:' />

#54
Well, Rob, they're talking through their sphincters, one and all. All that ass slammin' sort of sounds like microwave popcorn at two minutes fifty seconds.





ara
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

--C.S. Lewis



At all times sincere friends of freedom have been rare, and its triumphs have been due to minorities.

--Lord Acton



The ultimate consequence of protecting men from the results of their own folly is to fill the world with fools.

--Herbert Spencer



Fusion Center operatives are nothing short of collaborators in the death of Freedom

--Robert E. Gleason









[indent] [/indent]


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